I've been thinking....

lately about a couple of things:

• Kenosis... found in Philippians 2:5-8 we read how Jesus, emptied Himself and we are to 'have the same attitude of Christ Jesus'. What does that look like in real life? Do you suppose it's leaving what I'm doing to take a look at my daughter's school project? and doing it without complaining or feeling imposed upon? or perhaps taking to the sink the plates & cups left downstairs by the TV? again without putting on the garment of martyrdom? What about you? How can you, today, have this same mind of Christ?

• Shalom... more than merely rest from chaos, shalom speaks of peace that comes from knowing the presence of God. As we heard this morning from our Senior Pastor, "Shalom is what happens when we are immersed, submersed, drowned, overwhelmed and drawn deep into God. Shalom. It just sounds like peace. It has to do with wholeness, completeness, and fulfillment." So what stands in the way of experiencing Shalom? What happens that we don't experience this peace? Could it be that every place where peace has been broken - in every instance it is because someone demanded their own way? If so, then Philipians 2:3 suggests that in order for Shalom to take place we have to become humble, and Christ again is our perfect example. "In humility consider others better than yourselves". Peace does not being by waiting for the someone else to start it and we do not offer Shalom becuase it is natural for us to do so, but because Jesus Christ has given us Shalom. Peace has come to us as a gift - a gift that was wrapped in swaddling clothes.*

With that, somehow it seems to me we can't have one without the other....

I pray that you will experience this wonderful gift that God has given us... Shalom




* sermon by Pastor Murray Swalm, Dec 14,2008

three months have passed . . .

since I last posted here.

I guess one could assume that "no news is good news"?! Florian was back this week for another appointment and again... no lumps or bumps. We continue to be thankful.

At the same time, I have realized that it's become pretty easy to slip back into a mundane "every day's just more of the same" attitude... waking each morning expecting that the day will unfold as per "our" plans.

Are we back to the same place that we were before we started this journey? I certainly hope not.

To that end, I would like to ensure that during the next 3 months I praise God for each new day... that I daily count my blessings... that I affirm Florian for who he is and show my appreciation to him for all that he does...

My prayer is that, during these next 3 months, I wouldn't take so many things for granted . . .

and now for the rest of the story...

Florian had an appointment at the Cancer Clinic today - just a routine follow-up with bloodwork and a "touchy-feely" exam.

We didn't know quite what to expect but the doctor's verdict given to Florian is that he no longer has lymphoma. What we believe the doctor means is that Florian is in full recession! We are thankful.

Furthermore, he should, at 7 months be free, from all side effects from the treatments. Since he continues to feel so very tired, the doctor has suggested that he make an appointment at a gym with a personal trainer to have an exercise program set up that will take into consideration his aneurysm. Then, with regular exercise, his energy levels should return to normal.

So there you have it.

God is good. His mercies are new every morning.

It's been about a year...

since we started this leg of the journey. In some ways the year has just flown by so quickly... yet in other ways it feels like it's just been a grueling, daily struggle.

Reflecting on our lives today, I see that there has been an emotional toll that's been paid... school just couldn't get done soon enough (today was our last day). We had the option of enrolling dd2 into a course for summer school but in the end chose not. She was relieved - she was willing to take it if we wanted, but deep down really just wanted to have the summer to relax.

I'm also somewhat surprised at my own response to today: I'm not sure who is more excited to put the books away for the summer: me? or the girls? and I can let out an ecstatic scream of pure delight & relief that would challenge the best of the teenage girls in my house!!! LOL But does it ever feel good to release those emotions!!!!!

It's been more than a year since I've felt this relieved.... and I am looking forward to the next 2 months with great anticipation of: a trip to Mexico for dd1, outside projects that didn't get done last year, a trip to Creationfest for ds1, a family camping weekend in August, a bbq to celebrate 25 years, a week vacation as a family in August...

I look forward to finding ways to thoroughly enjoy our summer...

what struck me today....

is that God desires our obedience... in every single thing.

My Bible study took me this morning to the Old Testament, to the book of Judges. The study question was basically this: Judah started out so well (in terms of conquering the land). What happened? If you read chapter 1, you'll see that they're doing great until they encounter a people with iron chariots. They allow fear to dominate and make a compromise. This, in spite of God's specific instructions to them: When you go to war against your enemies and see horses and chariots and an army greater than yours, do not be afraid of them, because the LORD your God, who brought you up out of Egypt, will be with you. (Deut 20:1).*

At the beginning of chapter 2, the angel of the Lord confronts them with their disobedience and issues the consequences.

I was convicted. I have, these last two weeks, allowed some disconcerting thoughts to pervade my mind. Like a dark cloud, they had settled over me and I had no desire to chase them away. But this morning, I realized that I was as guilty as the Israelites in not trusting... in not believing... in not completely obeying God. This is not the life of victory that God would have us... would have me live. What is my response?

The clouds have lifted - not by own power or doing (for I know that I am not capable of moving them on my own), but thanks be to God - He is able!



* Scripture taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 International Bible Society.

you know the saying....

when life hands you lemons.... make lemonade! Well, I'm looking for the recipe!!

Florian met with a cardiovascular surgeon last week for a "surgical assessment". He is scheduled for an echocardiogram next month and a follow-up CT scan in October.

The first words out of the surgeon's mouth were, "it's not a matter of IF, but of WHEN". In the meantime, not only do we wait but Florian must be careful not to exert himself:

• no shoveling snow (well, I'm hoping that's not an indication that we're in for a dump this summer LOL);
  
• no contact sports (there goes his career!!! LOL!!!)
• no lifting of more than 25-50 pounds (well, there's quite a difference between 25 pounds and 50 pounds... so which does he mean?!?! LOL!!!!)

In all seriousness, I think the restrictions placed on Florian make this seem so much more "real" and scary.

As an example, this weekend we did some yard work. Each time we turned to do something we found ourselves asking, "Is this too much exertion? should I do this rather than Florian? How much is too much?" And I don't want to live like that... always questioning... always wondering...

And Florian needs to understand that just because he can't do "A", he can do "B" and that it's just as important to get B done as A. Does that make sense? Maybe I'll do more of the physical work outside, but he can then take over inside. Oh, we do have to figure some of this out. Most of all, I don't want him to feel useless.

I think I've found the recipe!!! We're juicing these lemons... and humor is what's going to make lemonade palatable!! LOL!!!!

and once again. . .

what a ride!!!! I love roller coaster rides, but oh my goodness... this one is the wildest one that I've ever experienced!!!

Florian's appointment today brought some good news. Although it still is unclear whether the aneurysm was there prior to January, it may not be as large as we were initially given to believe. If this is the case, there is a very good possibility that the surgeon will not recommend surgery, but will choose rather to watch it to see if it is growing and at what rate.

For me, I am glad that I settled the whole "surrender" thing prior to this. Why? Because I know that had I received the news without settling things, I would have just ignored my heart issue (pun not intended LOL) and that would have only served my selfish purposes.

and once again... I have to believe that God knows what He's doing... and I'm sure thankful that He's got His hands on the controls!!