Saturday, January 23, 2010

some rambling thoughts

that need a place to land...

Today has been an emotionally hard day.

On the one hand, we're absolutely thrilled that our daughter is home. There is joy in that. I enjoyed sleeping in my own bed last night.

and yet I'm afraid. I want desperately for the antibiotics to do their work - I want desperately for there to now be major progress in healing. But I'm afraid. I'm afraid of another infection - afraid that there will be another "speed bump". I'm running on empty, physically & emotionally, and don't know that I will have strength to face something more.

Florian's Mom also remains in hospital. She's not improving... These last weeks have taken a real toll on Florian as not only was he coming to the hospital to see his daughter, but he was also trying to spend large amounts of time with his Mom who is hospitalized at another facility.

Tonight I feel as though I've hit the wall. I don't know how much more we can handle...

I know that God is in control. I know that He gives us only what we can bear. I know that He will carry us - that "underneath are the everlasting arms". I feel like I'm standing in the river, facing a raging tide that threatens to pull me under.

and yet.

A song that was just playing downstairs by Steven Curtis Chapman is timely.... "His strength is perfect when our strength is gone. He'll carry us when we can't carry on..."

what a precious promise... and as I have been reminded over & over, we are in His precious grip...


4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Please know that there are many of us who are upholding your whole family in prayer. He who watches over you does not slumber. He knows your anxious thoughts. His right hand will hold you tight. (Ps 121, 139)
Linda

Suzanne said...

OH Edith, My heart goes out to you and Florian. My prayers are with you all! I wish I had more words than those for they seem so small considering all you are living with at this moment. They say God's strength is sufficient, but some days I know that is hard to hang onto, but do hang on to it. You have been through so much in the past years and God has always proven faithful and I know he will this time also.
Blessings my friend.
Suzanne

Jane ... said...

Edith, cling to the Lord's promise that He loves you and will never leave you; He will raise you up on eagle's wings; He knows your needs and well provides them; He is your shepherd and you shall not want. You and your family are in my daily prayers!

Wendy M said...

Something which the Lord has been saying to me over and over these past few days is that 'His strength is made perfect in weakness'...

... Realising our weakness and dependency upon the Lord is a very safe place to be.