Saturday, November 6, 2010

oh my goodness. . .

I cannot believe that it has been more than 2 months since I last posted... what have I been thinking?!?! or as my dear husband might say to that, "maybe you haven't been?!"

In a nutshell... we've survived minor crises... spent much time traveling back & forth between my folks' and home...

We moved my folks from the acreage into a home in town. It's a strange thing - the house holds memories for me that I have worked to forget. I have been hoping and praying that as it becomes my folks' home I can visit them without always remembering the other. As I think back over the last weeks, I think it's slowly happening - for which I am deeply grateful.

Mid-September we attended a pre-admission clinic... it was just the next step as we moved towards the long awaited surgery for Florian. We anticipated a call within a few weeks indicating that his surgery had been scheduled, but many weeks passed and no such call.

That changed yesterday. The phone rang. Florian looked at the call display and said, "oh oh. This is it." He was right. They informed him that he is scheduled for surgery on Tuesday afternoon - just 4 days from now.

Since then we have switched into high gear: re-scheduling other appointments; letting each of our kids know and answering their anxious questions; a flurry of emails as Florian contacted his work associates. Today the activity continued as we sorted through most of the remaining "stuff" in the garage. Don't get me wrong - we've been working at this all fall, but with the surgery just around the corner, we needed to pick up the pace a little.

Now what? Well, there's still a few things to take care of on Monday but we've done most of what we can do. Now we turn our attention to those things that are really important - the state of our emotions as we face this next step.

How are we really doing with this? Florian is calm. My head says "God is in total control and knows the outcome". My heart ... not so much. There's a long 12" disconnect for me between what my head is saying and what my heart is feeling...

I feel certain that I will come to the place where I am able to believe with my heart also... but for now, I'm not quite there. I know that God is able. I know that God is faithful. I know... I know... I know... yet the battle is raging as I wrestle...

Thanks, dear brother, for your wonderful words of encouragement from Psalm 20. It is what will carry me/us through this week:

In times of trouble, may the LORD answer your cry.

May the name of the God of Jacob keep you safe from all harm.

May he send you help from his sanctuary and strengthen you from Jerusalem.

May he remember all your gifts and look favorably on your burnt offerings.

May he grant your heart's desires and make all your plans succeed.

May we shout for joy when we hear of your victory and raise a victory banner in the name of our God.

May the LORD answer all your prayers.


6 comments:

Grace said...

Oh my goodness Edith... it's been so long but because you stopped by my blog today I came to say hi to you and have bee reading and catching up... what a season you have been in my dear friend and sister!!! I wish I could just wrap my arms around you and give you a big hug.... but I want you to know that I will be praying for Flourian's surgery and for all of you as you go through this time. Thankful the time has finally come and praying that God will guide the surgeon's hands and minds, undergird you with that extra measure of grace, and fill you with peace! Wish I could in some small way help but I know placing you all in His care is the best that can be done! Weeping lasts for a night but morning is coming.... I'm praying it comes soon for you my friend!!! {{{{Hugs}}}}

Diane said...

WOW, Edith...I had no idea you'd been going through all of this turmoil while waiting for Florian's surgery. I can imagine the temporal anxiety you are feeling. You always amaze me with your transparency and it helps us to pray for you specifically. Know that I will be prayer fervently through the day for you and your family. I love you so much dear friend and sister. How wonderful to see Grace's sweet picture above too. Always bound by heartstrings we WTW girls will be. Praying again...

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peggysue said...

Sweetie I was so sorry to hear the news . . .I am holding you all up in prayer and we know God sees every tear that falls. I wish I could send you a very real hug, but know that I am sending you hugs from my heart. {{{HUGS}}} my dear friend.

Grace said...

Oh Edith I just heard and tears fill my eyes as I think of the pain you are feeling right now. I too wish i could give a big in person hug but please know I am going to be taking you and the family to our Father who cares daily and often. I just pray His comfort and peace upon you and ask Him to fill every empty space with an added measure of His grace to carry you!

Suzanne said...

Edith,
I wish I had words to speak peace and comfort to your heart, but I find I only have tears to share with you. Please know if I could give you a hug and lend a shoulder I would. Not being able to do that I will keep you and your family in my prayers and thoughts. You are a very special long distance friend to me even though we have never met in person.