Saturday, September 22, 2007

uncertain and afraid...

but then, I should stop being so surprised at the roller coaster ride we're on! LOL

As we drove to the clinic yesterday, Florian was stressed. How could I tell? He was commenting on my driving - he seldom if ever comments on my driving... That didn't sit very well with me. However, it did cause me to pay extra attention and that was probably a good thing since my head was in a different space.

Then while we were waiting for the treatment to start, Florian commented on feeling much more uptight this time. He couldn't tell me why he was feeling that way... I just prayed that he'd be OK, that it wouldn't have any adverse affects. (there weren't).

I wasn't in a great emotional space either as we started the day. God is so faithful - I didn't know quite how to pull myself together but God did. I received an email which helped me understand and put things into a right perspective.

This "new normal" is ever before me and sometimes I feel so alone - life is moving forward for everyone - have they forgotten us? do they remember to pray?

As we start another treatment we are reminded of what we are facing - there's again the uncertainty of the future - and we aren't in control. But thanks be to God.... He is the One who is in control and we can certainly trust Him for He is faithful!!!

I remain so very thankful for all the support we receive: a quick email lets us know that friends were thinking of us today.... another comment that "we will definitely pray for you today - tomorrow - and on".... my online community sends prayers & hugs...

These remind me that we have not been forgotten.... we do not face this alone...

What can I say, except Thank You.

3 comments:

Lee said...

You aren't alone.......I sure may live a long ways away.....but you are your family are on my mind and heart everyday!! Not only to pray and think good thoughts for you all, but to learn from your journey and your openness!

kerianne said...

When you feel alone, know that I and many others, are thinking and praying for you. And that God is ALWAYS by your side!!

Suzanne said...

I can only echo what both Keri and Lee have already said. Across the miles my prayers and thought go out to you and your family. I wish the distance was shorter so I could physically hold your hand or lend you a shoulder when you need one. Buy please know that you are never alone despite the miles. God transends miles and will hold you close when we can not.