Saturday, May 16, 2009

good results

So Florian saw the doctor on Thursday and heard once again, "no lumps or bumps". These are words that bring a sigh of relief. We are so very grateful to hear the wonderful news once again.

Yet, so many have heard different words and we wonder why we are the ones who are still in remission while these others have not been as fortunate?

Last night I attended the Gaither Homecoming Concert with 3 of our kids and at one point Bill Gaither commented how there probably was no one there who had not had cancer touch their lives in some way. One of the guests who sang had just last week received word that after 4 years she is cancer-free; another guest singer had just finished her rounds of chemo. Sitting with me was a dear friend whose father had recently been diagnosed with cancer and had surgery only a few weeks ago. Even in our family we have some who are still fighting the disease and we wonder about the outcome.

Cancer has truly invaded our world. It is an ugly disease. I dreaded it. I still hate it. But its presence cannot be denied for it has touched our lives in a very real way. Presently it is being held at bay but for how long we do not know. For others, it is a battle that continues to rage.

I want to walk beside these dear friends & family members and offer our support and encouragement. It is hard, though, because there is a certain guilt that we feel - one that makes us feel somewhat hypocritical or insincere. It seems impossible to rejoice in our remission and yet sorrow for those that are still struggling. We do care - we really do. We also feel guilty. At the same time we try to reconcile in our minds the fact that this is our path and the other is theirs - and somehow they are both God-ordained. . .

And so I pray. I pray that they would accept our feeble attempts of support and encouragement. I pray that our words would be few. I pray that we would each take our days - our moments - and live them to the fullest - making the most of each one so that we will have memories to cherish - so that we won't have so many regrets - that our lives would be a living testimony to the grace and mercy and love of Jesus that we have experienced - that we would bear fruit and bring about "good results" - God results.


Diane said...

I was thinking this week about the mystery of God's economy. How some of His children seem to receive blessing upon blessing and others bear one challenge after another. My friend, who recently received the report that her cancer has recurred, this time in the brain, is an example. Within four years she lost a younger brother--an athlete who had a heart attach at the age of 40+ while jogging. Six months following his loss, her husband lost his 6-yr. battle with lung cancer. Not two years following his death she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She beat that, only to be facing brain cancer now.

I look at our families on both sides and see so many blessings--undeserved grace. Our grandparents lived long lives and we have been spared any debilitating diseases or catastrophes throughout 4 generations. We are so undeserving and I understand that near-guilty feeling. Why should we be spared while others suffer so?

I go to my knees in gratitude, and sometimes struggle with fear or dread about when our turn will come. I just pray that if it does--when it does, I will have the faith to remain a steadfast witness for my loving God.

Your testimony is seasoned with that faith, and you can do so much to strengthen others...even if your words are few!! They are beautifully constructed to say just the right amount! I so deeply appreciate you and the depth of your faith. I admire you.

I'm just praising God for the respite He gave you on this report, and I will continue to pray for His grace and mercy to rest upon you.

Blessings, sister! Love you.

Kimilou said...

My DCF...Diane said it well so I won't try to improve on it. You and Florian have been such a blessing to my life. God has wonderful plans for you and your family and I'm just gonna sit back and watch the show! {{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}