a place of "in between". . .

I started looking at Ps 126 today and found it interesting to realize that it can be divided into two parts: v.1-3 are a remembrance of what God has done in the past and v.4-6 look to the future.

In between those two sets of verses is what I would call "today". I can look back and remember good things that God has done... brought deliverance from fear, anger, hurt... brought healing... I recall His faithfulness as we walked through some dark days...

I look to the future and anticipate what God will do in our lives.

Yes, God is faithful. The events of the past are witness to that. I believe that He will be faithful in the days ahead - He has promised that.

But for today. I teeter on the brink. I wonder , "How long, O Lord? Have you forgotten us? When will You act?"

My head knows all the right answers... but my heart feels a little less sure.
My head says, "Remember His faithfulness". My heart feels heaviness and asks, "How long?"
My head says, "Great is Thy faithfulness. His mercies are new every morning". My heart cries, "O Lord, forgive my feelings of hopelessness and doubt. Help my unbelief"
My head says, "You do not walk this journey alone". My heart begs, "Help me to know Your presence"

and yet... for today... I'm in that place of "in between". . .

have you ever felt....

alone? forgotten?

I heard another challenging sermon today... We often feel that God has forgotten us. Certainly Israel felt that way. Assyria was knocking on their door and they were not only afraid, but felt God had abandoned them.

Ever feel that way? that you were all alone in the struggles that you were facing? that perhaps even God has abandoned you? and worse, has forgotten you? My heart broke as our pastor described a time in his early school years when he had been forgotten. He had been made to stand with his nose against the brick wall as discipline for not getting into line quickly enough... The rest of the students filed into the school and got settled into their classes... but not our pastor. For forty-five minutes he stood there... all alone... The teacher had forgotten about him... and my heart cried it resonated with that feeling of having been forsaken... alone... and terrified of making another wrong move...

The trouble with Israel was that they had forgotten God. They had ceased to seek Him and now... when trouble was knocking at their door, they felt all alone.

But there is good news. God has not forsaken His own. He has promised to walk with us moment by moment. Yes, the way may be dark and we may not see Him, but He is there. Take heart. He is there and His presence brings joy. How can it not? for He is joy.... unspeakable joy.

During this season of busy and crazy schedules, let's not forget to remember God and in that remembrance perhaps we will find joy... and peace... and hope.




photo credits to Aliyar Taravati

mountains... and peace....

Psalm 125 begins with,

Those who trust in the LORD are like Mount Zion,
which cannot be shaken but endures forever.
As the mountains surround Jerusalem,
so the LORD surrounds his people
both now and forevermore.

Ever considered mountains? On a clear day I can see the Rocky Mountains from here. Standing so majestically, they remind me of strength and permanence. They are the epitome of immovability!!! and just as Mount Zion surrounds Jerusalem, sure & secure, so too the Lord surrounds us, His people. If we trust in Him, we are surrounded with a blanket of security - we are safe! and above all, that security is immovable - it's unshakable!!

Even when life around us seems to be going crazy and stuff is happening that we just don't understand - God's presence is there. He is standing between me and all the "stuff"... He is surrounding me... and He is immovable!!

What does that look like in real life? This past week has been unbelievable. Our oldest son had an accident with his car last Friday. The streets were skating rinks and another vehicle pulled out of a parking lot in front of him. As much as he tried to avoid a collision... my daughter was in the car. She's had a headache since that evening - the result of whiplash. Two days later, my son's car packs it in. It's now sitting at a service station waiting for a transmission. Of course, my son is looking at his bank account and realizes that this is going to cost a fair bit of money.

Where is God? Where is this protection? Let's take a closer look...

• except for my daughter's whiplash, the others didn't sustain any injuries
• my son does have enough money in his bank account to pay for the work
• my son had a friend who could give him a ride the morning his car died
• my son was able to get off the freeway and limp into a parking lot

Today our pastor spoke on being peace in places where there is no peace. Our home this past week has been one of those places that has needed some extra peace. What does this mean for us? for me? We came home from church to... no water. There's a break in the water line that the city is trying to fix today. How can I find peace? no... the question is not how can I find peace. The question is, "How can I BE peace in this situation?"

The answer I believe is found at the beginning of this post. "As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the LORD surrounds his people." God is still here. God is surrounding us. The LORD is the Prince of Peace. As He is the Prince of Peace, that means we are surrounded by Peace - His Peace. I just need to allow that peace to fill my heart and then, by God's grace, may I be a vessel of peace to those around me.

from where does your help come?

I was reading Ps 121 today - doing a bit of a study on it actually.

"I lift up my eyes to the hills,
where does my help come from?

My help comes from Yahweh
the Maker of heaven and earth.
.
.
He will not slumber
.
.
He who watches... will neither slumber nor sleep"

He does not slumber ~ He does not sleep ~ He watches over you 24/7 - and will protect you from all harm...

Reflecting on the past few weeks, I realized that.... I've been alot like Peter. He got out of the boat just fine. At that point, his focus was on Jesus. But then the waves started to surround him - high waves - waves that were threatening to drown him - and guess what? He looked down. That was his mistake. He lost his focus.

"I lift up my eyes. . . from where does my help come?"

I've lost focus the last few weeks - looking at the waves that were threatening to wash over me instead of lifting up my eyes....

"My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth"

what a treat . . .

My son surprised me today with a quick stop by the house.

He had to come into the city for a supply run and took the time to come home for a quick minute.

While making a sandwich for lunch he talked... and talked... and talked.

It was such a delight to hear him talk about the things that are filling his thoughts.

God is so very real to him ~ I am deeply grateful.

celebrating life . . .

Have you given any thought to the kind of legacy you're in the process of leaving behind? Whether we are aware of it or not, we are each creating some kind of legacy that will be left behind when we die.

Today we celebrated the life of a man who was well-loved and "finished well". He was the most godly man that I know and the afternoon was filled with stories of how he impacted lives all across the world. He was generous, loving, faithful and lived his life with integrity. The legacy that he has left behind for his kids & grandkids is incredible.

That has left me wondering... what kind of legacy am I creating for my kids? Will others be able to say of me that I "finished well"? that I was a woman after God's own heart? Those are my deepest desires and today provided me with yet another opportunity to reflect & re-evaluate.

Thanks John for your example of faith ~ for your wise words of guidance ~ for being a man of God ~ for your role model ~ for having a lasting impact on my life.

what do you do . . .

when there's nothing you can do?

Praying seems so . . . easy to offer and yet it certainly doesn't feel like it's really helping to ease the burden . . .

I drove to the airport yesterday evening to pick up a dear friend. She had flown here to be with her mother-in-law. Her FIL had just yesterday been placed in hospice care and . . . well, I just feel so helpless. Their journey is so hard ~ and there's no guarantee when God will hear their heart's desperate cry to release him from his pain & suffering. Saying goodbye is so very hard. How do you ever prepare yourself for this?

Platitudes are so easy to come by... yes, it's wonderful to know that he is headed for heaven and we are so very thankful for that, but it's hard to face and say the final farewell.

And so I sit here with tears welling up and I hardly know how to bear the pain...

but then I think of my dear friend and her family and realize that if it's this hard for me, it must be nearly unbearable for them. . .

and in my state of helplessness, I pray ~ for that is all I can do at this moment.